Thursday, April 22, 2010

On Confidence

I tend to think that I am a confident woman. I wasn't always a confident girl though. And sometimes that girl finds her way into my adulthood. So I've been mellow the past few days and trying to fight back tears that half of the time don't even seem justified. This battle is something I've always struggled with...and it overcome me in a moment, but take days to sort through.

So a list. Because once you say it, or write it, it doesn't have to consume your insides.

I like being a curvy girl, I don't like shopping for a swimsuit.
I am really good at what I do, I have trouble putting my best down in a resume (I'm not writing resumes right now, but I was talking about this with someone last night).
I like to be busy, I have trouble saying no.
I'm friendly, but guarded.
I am positive, but don't want to always be the cheery one.
I go with the flow, but think *too much?* about the future.
I embrace free speech, but don't like saying bad things.
I talk a lot, but wonder if I'm saying anything relevant.
I love, but worry, worry, worry.
I like crafting, but feel my craft skills aren't up to par.

I feel a little better already.
Love.

5 comments:

Lindsay said...

You're awesome, Shan! :)

Unknown said...

Good post Shannon McBloggerson!

Clothes Karma said...

Sounds to me like you are going through a period of self-evaluation. I think all women in their 20s/30s do this. It's a part of maturing. And, as someone reminded me the other day, growth doesn't always feel good. Hang in there.

Brenna said...

All those contradictions are what make you awesome. Love ya. :)

BrassyLibrarian said...

Thanks, friends. I really appreciate your words of support & kindess. Just having one of those weeks where I don't know how I feel or when it will stop. A whole lot of self-evaluation going on topped with a bunch of, "What if, What will happen and Where will I be a year from now?"

It's hard for me to be outwardly personal but I'm trying a little more and more.

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